Best intentions not good enough, again

I’ve been meaning to write on here for a while but haven’t, obviously. Sometimes it’s just hard to make time in my day to do it. Not that I’m spectacularly busy doing very important things at all times, but because it requires output from me and sometimes I just feel like being lazy and letting everything else stimulate ME.

I think that’s probably the root of all my problems in life, needing to be the person who generates something and instead sitting back and letting other things do it for me. It’s frustrating how clear it is, I have goals, things that I very much desire to accomplish, oftentimes I don’t simply because of a lack of will. I want to run more, but I’d rather lay in bed and let a book entertain me. I want to want to get all of my homework done way before it has time to stress me out, but I’d rather sit at a computer and let facebook tell me what’s happening in all my friends lives.

When did I become so damn passive? I make lists constantly of things I want to accomplish, when I get something done it feels way more amazing than finishing that episode of Law & Order that happened to be on. Cognitively I know all the things I’m supposed to be doing, that I actively want to be doing, but why have I been unable to translate that to actions?

Guess I just need to make a new list and try harder.

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About jchesher

I'm a 21 year old college student at Iowa State University. Just kind of figuring life out as I go, it sounds lame but it's true.
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