My least favorite time of the year. I hate packing and unpacking so much, it’s one of the most tedious things to have to do. It also forces me to reevaluate all of my possessions, junk that I’ve kept for years on the off chance that I might “need” it someday. I hate how attached I am to things, maybe it’s growing up in Western culture with the belief that more is always better, maybe it’s my desire to cling to things that are familiar or my fear of getting rid of something and regretting it so much later.
Today while I was packing I found my planner from freshman year, I love planners and I love writing in them but do I really need to keep one from 3 years ago? Probably not. I haven’t even looked at it since the last time I moved my all my stuff so I threw it away. I feel mostly good about it but at the same time there’s this twinge about not being able to look at it anymore, like it’s some important glimpse into my first year of independence. I mean really, what’s the most intersting thing it can contain? I remember marking special events but nothing that I don’t already remember without that little book’s help.
This is getting rambly but I suppose that’s pretty natural to my thinking process, jumping from topic to topic without real direction. But it makes me think about how obsessed I am with the past. Not that there’s anything wrong with remembering things but sometimes I worry that I’m not in the present enough, I love reminiscing and I love planning things for the future, but I don’t live in the past or in the future. I live in the now, my life is the now and I think I need to better learn how to appreciate that.
I went to yoga yesterday and it was great, one of my favorite things about yoga is the emphasis on the now. Concentrate on your breathing now, concentrate on your body now. It’s never think about how fit you’ll be in a few weeks or think about all the calories you’re burning off from that ice cream you ate yesterday, only the things in the now. And the here. I need to remember that. Haha this isn’t where my post started but I’m here now and that’s what matters right?